To Endure
by Optionalthought
Summary: Life is about struggle. It shouldn't take a Jinchuriki to tell you that. Follow Naruto Uzumaki, as he delves into the life of a shinobi. Handling the morally grey challenges that he's face with as he struggles with social interactions, his past and attempts to form a solid ideology. First person POV.
1. Life is a struggle

Life is about struggle.

It shouldn't take a Jinchuriki to tell you that. Normal people see it everyday. Interpersonal struggles, minor inconvenience. We as outsiders can't really judge the individual issues people go through. What would amount to a grain of salt on our shoulders could be the equivalent of a boulder to any given stranger. It's a frustrating concept to really wrap your head around. Especially given the fact that being a Shinobi means to endure. How stupid.

It's as if people never really understood that struggle is meant to push one into personal growth. I mean, take me for example. I was loud, obnoxious, hell I was desperately seeking attention. Bonds I could call my own, relationships or even support. But now, to hell with all that. I became fed up, the struggle was to nagging. I realized I could continue to fight or just accept things as they where and adapt accordingly. And for all his flaws Danzo helped with that. I learned the frailty and hazards of such relationships. Learned how to steel myself against others opinions and project my issues as intimidation. It's a shame and a blessing that Sarutobi found me and put the old war hawk to death.

Now I was just Uzumaki, my classmates didn't really address me in a casual manor, but it was better than the 'deadlast' or 'chibi-demon' that they used to call me. Hell how did they even pick up on the demon quip with it the Kyubii being an S-Class secret? Fucking ridiculous. But with adapting came a more serious look at becoming a Shinobi. Orange wasn't really a stealthy color, regardless of my feats against our Anbu. So black pants, black under shirt and a large forest green jacket it was. Not to mention wearing a bandanna to hid my blond hair.

I mean sure I could probably ditch the bandanna, but it makes me feel more dangerous, and I'm sure just wearing my hood up would give the same or arguably a better effect but hear me out. Blond hair stands out. It works for a Yamanaka, their high pont tail and facial structures are dead give a ways. I mean, a mind walker is a valuable asset on a team and just knowing you have one in your squad gives reason for them to be avoided. But my mope, un-tamable, just a wild mess really. So covering it just makes sense.

I started honing in on my stealth, my opponents couldn't kill me if they couldn't see me. Evasion. They couldn't harm me if they couldn't hit me. Lastly was the academy jutsu. I failed my first attempt. That's where the 'dead last' nickname kicked in. I couldn't do the substitution, nor the damnable Bushin technique. But I started breaking the techniques down to the basics. Struggle forced improvement, solely enduring was just bashing your head against the wall.

I figured out my chakra reserves where far to high for such low level techniques. So I began tweaking the substitution. Eventually figuring out that using it without hand signs took more chakra, even if it wasn't the by the book way or most conservative option. It worked for me. Then It was the Bushin, after trial and error for eight months I went to the Hokage. The old man sympathized with me. He had always done that. I guess seeing me struggle so hard made him feel pity. I hated it. But it was useful. After explaining the reasons behind my issues with the Bushin I had finally accessed what I needed. The Kagebushin. A solid clone, that could relay info and even fight for me. It was perfect honestly. It's insane chakra cost made it so much easier. The only issue was, I never wanted to be a power house.

Up close and personal fighting was tiring, I don't mean stamina wise, I mean I still have boundless energy, even if I suppress it. It's just, watching your opponent. Going head to head in conflict, the pissing contest ninja enjoy of throwing out strong jutsu one after the other. No thanks, I'll pass on that. I'd much rather gather Intel, stick to the shadows and stabbie rip stab stab my way through this career. Leave the glory for people like Sasuke or that mouthy brat Hibachi. They can have it, and that damnable hat I used to harp about.

Now I was going to be a Genin. My headband tacked on to my bandanna. A symbol that I'll be a tool in service to the very village that's mocked and belittled me my whole life. But remaining their scapegoat. Another struggle added to a list of many, one that I'd just endure for now. I mean who would want to deal with the issues of adapting to it. It was just, what was it that the Nara always said? Oh, yeah. Troublesome.

"Uzumaki, I was wondering if you'd like to celebrate us graduating. I've noticed you visit that ramen stand a lot. Not that I've been watching you or anything. I mean, you're almost always there it's not hard to notice. But," Ugh, this was the third time Ami had tried to get him to hang out. The purple haired girl just couldn't get it through her head he preferred to be alone. But since he had returned to the academy with his new look and attitude she seems to have taken an interest in him. Something I'd have relished in before, but now. No thanks.

"I mean, I had planned to just head home and read tonight." There, a nice excuse. Not entirely a lie either. Since I've been studying Fuinjutsu. But I'm not going to lie Ichiraku's sounded great.

"Oh, well maybe next time. Have you thought about who you'd want to be on a team with?" As if to emphasize she was gracing me with this conversation she tucked her hair behind her left year. I mean I noticed you keep the right side shaved. I'll admit it's appealing but I don't plan to be looked down on.

"Couldn't give a shit really. Working with others is part of the job. I mean they're nothing more than extended squad mates." Precise. Shutting down any hopes of her thinking I'm going to become chummy with anyone here. Sure people expect to form lifelong friendships with their Genin teams.

"Wow, that's a pretty shitty way to look at it." No, expecting to be the next Ino-Shika-Cho was just to hopeful.

"Eh, whatever. Look, congrats on graduating and all that. But I'ma head home." Getting up I just toned her out. I was finished with the conversation. It was pretty frustrating to say the least. Ami was a bully when Danzo came into the picture. She didn't care I existed unless it was to chime in with a jab when I was taking heat. Hell she'd bullied that Sakura girl terrible. But all of a sudden I come back and she's up my ass. I couldn't tell if she was mistaking me for the Uchiha or if she was just incredibly dedicated to some prank she had cooked up. I wasn't social, but not because I was brooding. It's because all that socializing my classmates seemed to thrive off of was just so damn pointless. I didn't need their friendship. Half of us would end up dropping out of the Shinobi corps before chunin if statistics were correct. A quarter of us would die before Jonin. So where laid the purpose of any of this? Maybe if I was looking for that sort of fulfillment sure. But the majority of the village had already made it clear. I was a pariah. Alone since birth and alone until death. It might as well be set in stone I guess. One of those struggles you just have to endure.

Not to mention Danzo had showed me how fragile and harmful this sort of thing was. Having a demon linked to your emotions doesn't really make lose a fun experience. Maybe that was the main reason I was so against the idea. I mean Sai was with me in the foundation and despite his awkward and terrible attempts at socializing he was still attempting and making strides. Maybe I could too. No, to hell with that sort of naive thinking.

The walk back to my shitty apartment was always a treat. Glares, minor quips and constantly trying to figure out an eternal debate. Is the Shinobi way of enduring the only way of dealing with somethings? Is adapting to situations just a non-option in certain cases. Sure I think adapting is the main avenue. It's how I want to live my life anyways, but enduring was a constant stain on my ideals. But what else could I do. Earning the respects of these people wasn't something I could accomplish. So why try? Thumbing through my pocket for my Fuinjutsu for Morons I just pushed this mental struggle to the back of my mind for now I have work to do tonight.

-Three Weeks Later -

Today was going to be annoying. How would the Nara say it? Oh, yeah. Troublesome. It might as well have been a guarantee that I'd be forced to endure the grating background static of all these hyped up children. Cranking their most annoying qualities up to eleven. Quickly walking past everyone with out interaction was easy. For an up and coming master of stealth it was truly nothing. Or maybe it was just the fact that no one cared or knew speaking to him would be pointless. But that thought was a lot more annoying. Realistic or not. Find my usual seat was easy. Top left corner of the room, it had suitable lighting for reading, but braced against the wall so that the sun didn't get too hot. It was also easily accessable. I could just walk through the door and head straight up and sit down. A simple path with the least likely way to get stopped by anyone, then an easy escape route. Quick one at that.

By the time I'd sat down the Nara was asleep on his desk. The fatass he hung around with happily munching on chips. How wonderful being so simple must be. The Brooding figure that took a similar spot to him on the right side of the room, Uchiha Sasuke. If I had to guess, he chose his place in the room for similar reasons I did. By placing himself on the far right he made sure everyone would have to notice his entrance and exit. He was just like that, he merely acted aloof and isolated. Sure the bastard didn't have it easy. He struggled in far greater ways than I did. I mean he watched his family die in front of him. But the village and their classmates loved him. The teachers touted on how he was a prodigy, despite still being in the academy at 12. Something that was simply average if the Uchiha track record was correct. But as much as he portrayed being annoyed, or tried to act aloof the Uchiha still made opportunities to show off. Not to mention he'd jump at any chance to show off. Inferiority complex maybe. But honestly, the prick acted like nothing more than a hypocrite. Constantly trying to act the loner while soaking up and grab attention like he was a starving dog pouncing on table scraps. Had he no respect for people who where truly stuck being alone? Asshole.

"Today's the big day, huh Uzumaki?" Ami, again. Acting as if she owned the place simply claiming the space beside him. Of course I didn't miss her tuck her hair behind he ear. I could practically hear her thoughts. 'Don't worry Uzumaki. I'll grace your pathetic existence.'

"Yeah, I guess."

"Didn't see you around much the last few weeks. What did you get up too?"

"I didn't really go out."

"How boring, but I guess you're always like that." I couldn't really place the reason. But Ami was getting on my nerves a bit. I'm not positive, but I know her acting so familiar to me was part of it. She didn't know me. I didn't know her. So how would she know what I was like? Not to mention that smug smirk on her face.

"Yeah, I guess." She just turned and smiled.

"You should really change that. You always look so bored and dejected. Maybe coming to hang out with some of us will fix that." No, it wouldn't I'd just be glared at and feel out of place the whole time. If she knew me like she's acting like she does she'd realize that.

"I doubt it."

"But you'll never know unless you try." I just sighed, I wasn't going to have that. I'm sure she knew that. Especially considering I just looked away from her after that. Silence settled over us for a moment. I mean Ami was being nice, friendly even. But I'll be honest, I didn't trust that. Danzo had introduced me to my 'handlers' on my first day with root. Riku and Risa. Two twins who where orphans. They where friendly, kind, and taught me everything I know about weaponry. Which isn't anything to brag about. But it served its purpose. Those two where the closest thing outside the Hokage and the Ichiraku's I've had to a family. But it was all fake. People, especially ninja use people. Ninja are tools meant to endure, sure connections and bonds are needed. Niceties between comrades, and such. But that just makes the concept of friends more convoluted. Ami was, for lack of a better word. A bitch up until about a year ago. After I completely changed myself is when she took notice and interest. So it was obvious it wasn't me that drew her in. It was the fact I had become moderately competent. So how could I even begin to think her actions where genuine. I had no issue working with her if that's what came of it. But I wasn't going to fall for her lie of friendship. We are just two people with no mutual understanding.

As if on cue to break up my thoughts and prove my point a pair of harpies burst into the room. Each one clamoring about 'Uchiha this, Uchiha that'. Almost every male in the room instantly became annoyed. The Nara's head bounced off the desk in front of him. The Inuzuka or his mutt where growling. Hell it may have been my imagination but even the Aburame seemed to be buzzing with annoyance.

"Those two are complete jokes." Ami practically spat. But I didn't understand her point. Both Haruno and Yamanaki placed higher than her in the class.

"Annoying, sure. Jokes. That might be a little harsh." Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

"First off Uzumaki it's not a little harsh. It's not harsh enough." She said it with a glare, I couldn't help but wonder if it was because she was so similar to them not to long ago. Another Uchiha obsessed idiot. "I mean, they're so caught up in impressing him or just grabbing his attention that they don't care about their personal growth at all." But you do? "I mean don't get me wrong, he's attractive and everything." See I knew it. She was still captivated by the brooding wander. "But he's almost as bad as them. So much talent wasted on just impressing people." She seemed a bit dejected about it. But I wouldn't press. I'd figured out a while back sometimes you just needed to let people talk. "I wish I had just an ounce of talent those three do. I started taking this stuff serious to late. A lot like you." Oh, so she had caught onto that as well. How long had this brat been watching me? "Sakura has the brains and chakra control to be the top of the class." She is the top of the class. "Yet instead of cementing that she just takes the easy route. Ino isn't any better. She was born and bred to be a ninja. Her parents where both damn good. But instead of buckling down or going to them for help, she's just more focused on looking good."

"That bothers you now?" Shit, that just sorta slipped out.

"Yeah, we're becoming ninja soon. Book smarts won't much matter after this. I may think they're idiots but I don't want them to die. You know?" As she talked the two girls continued their argument in the back ground. Occasionally drawing my attention with their loud, grating voices.

"Why should you care about that." Ami looked at me with what I couldn't differentiate between pity and disappointment. I finally decided it was the later.

"Isn't it obvious? We've spent damn near seven years together. Most of us started around five. I may not like them, but Shinobi life is dangerous. I even debated dropping out." Didn't expect that honestly. Ami was a hard head, at least from what I'd seen. Brash, honest and defiant. "At this age, especially considering we technically become real ninja tomorrow. I just. Hoped they'd take it a little more seriously."

She finished resting her head in her hands. I couldn't really figure out why she'd unload all of that on me. I wasn't her friend. We weren't close. No mutual understanding had be formed. But she'd confided in me. Even I wasn't so removed from the world to reject or mock that.


	2. Observation

Have you ever noticed how the background noise of pointless squabbles or pointless ramblings could be controlled so easily by a domineering presence? Haven't you ever thought it to be a little odd. These so called meaningful interactions being put on hold, paused, completely forgot the moment someone with a commanding voice or presence interjects themselves into the situation. Or something with more tension is in the general vicinity?

I never took Iruka-sensei as the domineering type. He was a kind man, and honestly a bit of a push over. Too nice and accommodating for his own good a lot of the time. But whether it be through conditioning, or the lingering fact that we already knew our life would lead us to take commands from those with higher rank. His presence seemed to put a stop to anything else in the room. The few strong willed fools who tried to ignore him would soon follow suit when he raised his voice with a simple 'shut up'. Once upon of time, I'd still have challenged him. Just for the attention. How pathetic is that?

But now I found it sad, not a one of us would fight back after his first outburst. For a moment I wondered if a position like that would be rewarding. Something I'd enjoy. Or would I loath it. Did authority actually matter when there was nothing to reign in? I guess it was pretty pointless to even think about. But curious minds would wonder. A brief congratulations and talk about how we'd be delving into the world of true Shinobi was spouted. All pretty words with warnings laced in, not sure if that was meant to scare us or just be a reminder. It felt insincere, how many times had he gave that speech? How many students funerals had he attended. A position like that, were you were expected to care, to nurture. That couldn't be absolutely sincere. No human no matter how kind could consistently invest themselves in every child they met. Especially knowing that they would most likely die in their chosen field. Loss, rejection, feelings of failure, guilt. Those would devour someone like Iruka. No one was strong enough to endure that struggle. Killing emotions would be the only adaptation. But that would make him terrible at his job. So the only option less would be to crumble.  
Not that I could fault the man for putting on this facade. It was just too much to not end up a fraud. I'd done something similar. Playing up the old persona of mind just because I was lonely. At least he had better reasons for it. Ami, however, never looked away from the man however. She was fixated. Impatiently waiting for her name to be called.

"Team Seven will consist of Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno and Hibachi." Iruka rambled off, a loud thud alerted me to Hibachi repeatedly bashing his head against his desk. Mumbling about his damnable luck while the harpy ranted and raved about her victory over…..I guess Ino? The rest of the teams just passed by. I figured I'd eventually hear my name and I'd pay enough attention to know where to go, or at least who to follow. With each name rambled off it was slowly becoming more of a process of elimination. Not that I cared who I'd be paired with or anything. But my curiosity was getting the better of me. Until I realized something.

Sai was basically in the trenches with me. Well not literally. But he was in root with me. He had suffered similar struggles. He'd endured, he had adapted well, or as well as an emotionally and socially stunted child could to his new environment. Knowing the Third like he did I could guess the man would saddle them together. Two messed up kids, needing mending and growth. Pair together due to the likely hood they'd be able to understand one another, and would grow and strengthen their bonds due to this. Honestly this will of fire idea was idiotic. Sure they'd grow due to growing close. But relying on anyone but yourself was a dangerous thing. Self reliance was the priority anyone who wished to survive their career should focus on. Team mates matter, no self respecting person would watch an ally die or leave them in order to survive. But then again how would I ever know unless that choice and struggle was placed upon me? Besides I was already dedicated to my life of isolation.

The third member would definitely be a female. All squads where made up of two males and a female. At least for the last few generations. If the Third was manipulating this in order to try and force me to get all chummy with his peers there was only one option, Ami.

"Hey Ami." She almost immediately looked over, a look of curiosity or annoyance in her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"I really don't feel like paying attention to this, so if you don't mind could you just let me know where to meet with sensei?" Ami gave me a confused look before laughing.

"Sure thing." I simply pulled out my Fuinjutsu for Morons book and began reading. Trying my best to tone out Iruka and the rest of the class. But my thoughts just couldn't sit still. It was some of those misguided, mostly sentimental thoughts. I couldn't help but think, how great something like our group could be. Me and Sai could become friends, maybe Ami would prove to be sincere and I could connect with her. But I quickly dismiss that. Danzo's words ringing loudly in the back of my head. Naive. Ami eventually gives me a nudge. Shaking me out of such delusions. "Come on, let's go. We're meeting in the library." I just nod and stash my book away in one of the inner pockets of my jacket and follow her out. Sai soon gets up and follows us. Not say as much as a word. Just that creepy ass smile placed over his lips.

"So, what's our Sensei's name." I hated small talk, it wasn't my fortee and honestly most of it was pointless. But sometimes when in a group of people something had to break the silence. I don't know why but a heavy feeling would often find it's way to setting on my chest. It was almost like it was hard to breath unless I spoke out to fill the absent space.

"Genma Shiranui." Sai never was much for delivery, almost everything he said came off with this slight playful hint. If it wasn't for the fact I knew the boy didn't know how to joke I'd almost take everything he said as a set up waiting for a punchline. That creepy ass smile didn't help.

"So what do you two know about him, because I got nothing." Both of them just shrugged, and all I could think was 'great a no name'. But that wouldn't be all bad. If he was a proactive teacher things would be fine. A slow burn for enhancing my skills, with not much recognition to my sensei or teammates. It'd be easy to keep a low profile and just skate through the system. I'm honestly not as lazy as the Nara, but the least attention the better. Maybe I'd join Anbu at some point, or just become a Tokubetsu Jonin for Fuinjutsu or Assassination. Either would be fine, but the smaller my file and the less glory that better. We finally reached the library and there sat, what I could best describe as a delinquent in a Jonin vest. Backwards bandanna, feet propped up on a table. For extra emphasis this clown was chewing on a Senbon and twirling a Kunai. A small part of me was already irritated. If the old man went through so much trouble to force me into this team, for reason I suspected earlier. Wouldn't it be best for him to give me a sensei I could relate to? Unless, Sarutobi thought I was a delinquent…. But he couldn't, right?

"About time you three showed up, I was starting to think I'd been given Kakashi's kids." As he seen us he sat up put the Kunai way to seem more professional. I took the notion to believe this man was just bored easily. But the Senbon never left his mouth. We all three took a see across from him as he began to look us over before dropping three folders on the table. "These files are the information the Teachers have compiled for the Hokage and use Jonin instructors. I've read over each of them twice. To be honest, I'm not sure you're a team that aligns very well with my set of skills. But I don't like passing up opportunities. So before we get down to business I think it's best that we all get to know each other a little better. Since a Sensei is suppose to lead by example I'll go first. Any objections to that?" All three of use just shook our heads. It was night and day to Iruka, sure this guy was a no name. But the way he was handling this demanded respect. It was almost like we were being brief by the old man. His posture stated all business, while his appearance and aloofness gave off a small sense of intimidation. You had to admire that, many of the Jonin I'd seen just came across as cosplaying civilians. Not one carried themself in this manner, or maybe they just save it for situations like this. "Alright then, my name is Genma Shiranui. I enjoy Pumpkin Broth and traveling. I have a distaste for spinach and people who are all talk. My goal is to continue to be a pillar in the Jonin community. As far as my skill set I'm a former member of the Hokage Guard and specialize in Ninjutsu. See simple introduction. Just your name, likes, dislikes, goal and some information about what field you feel you're strongest in. Though I guess you three should tack on what fields you're interested in. So, Why don't you begin…." He quickly opened one of the files. For someone who read it twice you'd think he'd remember our names. Or maybe this was a mind game. Something to try and remind us of our place. "Sai, was it."

"Understood, my name is Sai. No surname as I'm an orphan. My likes are momen tofu and art. Specifically drawing and calligraphy. My dislikes are dango. My skills currently are proficient in use of my tanto. I've also started to develop my own style of Ninjutsu using ink and my drawings. As far as what I'd like to focus on, I believe my true strength lies in scouting and infiltration. However despite the fact I believe I should keep my focus on these specific areas, I would like to improve my other skills. Namely Ninjutsu." Sai finished with that creepy ass smile. I know you're trying dude, but for all of our sake, stop. We know you're not sincere. Genma just stared him down however, before giving a dejected sigh.

"Goals kid. What are your goals." For a brief moment Sai looked confused, almost as if the very idea was confusing to him. Finally he just gave a shrug. Genma merely shook his head. I got the feeling we where disappointing him more and more as the seconds ticked by. "Fine, whatever." Looking at the next file a quick frown came over his face, his eyes quickly glancing to Ami. If only for a moment, and then steeled it self back in his 'down to business' expression. I could feel my eye twitch at that. He was judging her off her file alone. Before a word even left her mouth. I couldn't explain why but that in itself was annoying. Could it have been our conversation from earlier? Her expression of regret? Maybe it was his unfair judgement of her? I mean I'd struggled through something similar my whole life. Did I care? No, that'd be naive. It was simply that it reminded me of the villagers, yeah that was it. "Alright, Ami you're next."

"My name is Ami, like Sai I'm an orphan so no surname." She took a moment, maybe she knew we were eyeing her. Nervousness I guess. But with a sharp, deep breath and a slight lowering of her her. She gave herself a small smile. Was she feeling sorry for herself in that moment? No, it couldn't be that. The Ami I'd observed up to this point was brash, extroverted and challenging. Cheerful wasn't the right word. Challenging definitely suited her more. "My likes are Sushi, I have no real hobbies." As she said this Genma's earlier frown starter to come through once more. I could feel my eyes narrowing at him, but couldn't stop. Danzo's words once again echoed in my head. 'Emotions only show weakness.' So I tried to reign it in. "My dislikes are Coffee, and those who waste their talents by not putting in the hard work." I had completely zoned in on reading Genma's expressions at this point. The slight eyebrow raise, the tug at the left side of his lip as her statement aired out. At this point what ever she was saying no longer mattered much to me. I tried to analyze and dissect each change in body language, each facial expression. But I was failing, I felt as if someone was screaming behind my face. My mind was getting loud, but nothing audible stood out. It was just noise. A raging static. As Ami finished Genma glanced over at me. He thumbed at the file, but didn't even bother to open it. His eyes narrowed as if trying to meet my, what I could only assume he interpreted as a glare.

"You're the last one Uzumaki." Using my surname, not even bothering to play the mind games with the file he did the other two. Maybe this was his mind game. Challenge me with a direct challenge. It was possible my file covered my normal mannerisms. I'm sure the teachers had picked up on my way of avoiding attention this last year. He did say he read the file twice. Goddamn this guy was already annoying me.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. Unlike the others I'm an Orphan with a surname." He smirked at that. He was always smirking. "I personally think this is pointless. I'd be surprised if any of you really cared about my likes or hobbies. So I'll skip them and just give you a run down of my talents. I have only two things I consider myself good at. Accuracy and stealth. I'm sure the file already covers that. As for what I wish to train it, it's assassination and fuinjutsu. But since we're sharing personal details." As I began saying the last line I could feel the muscles in my face mimic his cocky grin. Why was I doing this? Acting so stand offish. This would create nothing but more struggles for me to deal with. But. It could be the opportunity to create caution, some distance between me and Ami. Sai already knew, so did Genma. But maybe spilling it here could be a trump card. A jab at Genma for playing games with us, and a way to put a hamper on this familiarity Ami kept trying to establish. "It'd be reckless not to inform my Sensei and future comrades of this." Genma's smirk sank back into a glare. I could tell he was practically freaking out now. S-rank secrets could be weaponized. Good to know.

"Uzumaki, don't." He practically growled. I simply raise my hands up in a defensive manner. My actions at this time where more like something the old me would have done. So he probably didn't expect it from the file and the briefing the Hokage no doubt gave him on the three of us.

"I'm the Nine-" Genma's hands slammed onto the table in front of me. Him leaning across the table, close enough to my face to were I could feel his breath, the senbon clattering onto the table.

"I said don't Uzumaki! That's an order!"

"tailed fox."

A/N

Hey guys, I just want to thank you to everyone who has taken an interest in this story. As well as apologize for the short length of each chapter. I know I personally prefer longer reads, but I really want each chapter to feel like a scene change. Or have an impact that makes you guys excited to see how things play out next chapter. I know cliffhangers suck. So sorry for that as well. I also wanted to touch on a few things. I've tried a few previous fics (one on this account and a few on an older account I no longer have access to) the problems I have always seem to have was wanting to jump perspectives. Trying to updating too quickly with out really proof reading. But the main issue writing them was just trying to slam ideas together without an actual end goal. Sure a beta reader would have drastically improved my previous attempt, the real issue was on me. I just wanted to cram as many ideas that I had together with no real narrative outline. Although a few things about this story are still unclear to me. I do have an ending I plan on working towards. So hopefully the ride there will be a good read for you guys, and an actual accomplishment for me. So thank's once again.


	3. Slide by

After my little reveal, Ami burst out laughing. Sai just gave me a small smile, one that was less creepy and more sympathetic. Genma sat back down grumbling. His hand over his face. Danzo's voice rang in the back of my head. 'Information is power Uzumaki, having more knowledge or Intel over ones foes can turn vulnerability into your trump card. It would be wise to remember such things.' Oh, how right the old warhark was. In a single sentence I'd cemented my place with my Senei, as insubordinate. Sure their is some truth to that. But more so than anything I showed him I could stand in the ring with Jonin and their mind games and come out on top. Regardless from the risks involved with me.

"So, you expect me to believe that the anti-social wonder boy here is the nine-tailed fox?" Ami was struggling to get through her laughter. Sai just lowered his head and Genma didn't even respond. So I didn't see a reason too. Ami, acted as if she was waiting for the punchline. The longer the silence stagnated the faster we watched her amusement faltered. "I mean you're not. Right." Genma let out an audible sigh.

"Go ahead, I mean. It's a debriefing with the Hokage directly after this meeting. Not much more damage you could do." Genma glared at me, his frustration was pretty amusing actually.

"Shouldn't we finish this meeting first Sensei." I smiled up at him, I'm sure he's loving it.

"Uzumaki, don't smile like that ever again. I mean you make a tasteless joke about being the Nine-tails and then try to smile. It was more creepy than sighs. Sigh just looked at her with his eyebrow raised. "No offense, but seriously you look like a thug." I look like a thug, non assuming Naruto Uzumaki?

"I highly doubt that, but before we where interrupted. Sensei can we finish this meeting, move on to what ever else you have in store. So I can go back to training."

"Yeah, sure. Normally you kids would have one more test. But I suppose this is as good of a test as any. Ami, what I'm about to inform you is an S-class secret. Punishable by death if anyone other than the Hokage or Uzumaki Naruto himself are to reveal information involving it. With that said, I'll hand things over to him." Ami was looking a little panicked. She'd started to fidget in her seat. Sai was perfectly relaxed. But I didn't expect anything less than someone who was within Ne with me.

"This is a joke, right?" I watched her look at Genma than to me in an effort to tried to read us.

"Believe me, Ami. I wished it was." I finally croaked out. In the moments this was all going on I don't think I really allowed myself to truly think it over. I'm not a fan of admitting when I'm wrong and sure as a play it was spectacular. From this I'd get everything I wanted. But, I didn't plan for explaining it. A little thing in my mind was pulsing with. What fear? Regret? I'm not sure, the little devil trying to pull my heartstrings could fuck himself for all I cared. "On October Tenth the Kyubii attack Konoha, and yes the Yodaime defeated it. However a village in our position has to hold a Jinchuriki. The Shodiame made a decree during the first kage summit. Suna got the Ichiba, Kumo was granted the Hachiba and the Nibi. The rest of them were spread out as the other villages saw fit. But Senju-sama kept the Kyubii for the Leaf. Mainly because he sealed it into his wife prior. But that's all semantics." I could feel the trembling in my throat. I was, angry? Upset? No. No I wasn't able to feeling either of those. Or so I'll tell myself. "See, he had to seal it, but outside of the Ichiba a successful sealing of the Bijui into inanimate objects was unheard of. More times than not a human sacrifice is needed. To become the host of the Bijui, to become a jinchuriki. Now, for village safety Konoha has always had one, and since the last one died during the Kyuubi attack. Or I guess their death was the catalyst. But yeah, so it's me." After finishing my explanation or ramble, I guess. I rested my chin on my hands staring at her trying to gauge her reaction. Trying to see into her mind, in a primitive way compared to the Yamanaka, but facial and body readings had worked for so many others. Why not me?

"So, you're not the Nine Tails." Her look read confusion, but her body language was tense, not stand offish but more guarded. She was being cautious. If we were later in our career I'd assume it was just standard. But Ami had admitted to having slacked too long to have any redeemable skill. So it was possible that this was just her initial reaction. I suppose anyone just learning this information would be similar, but for some reason I found myself slightly disappointed.

"Yes I am." For all event in purposes, the village had seen me as the fox my whole life. Danzo made it clear as the Jinchuriki of the Kyubi, my job was to stand as a weapon above all else. The villages most dangerous weapon. My worth was defined by my prisoner. My future was defined by my prisoner.

"No, the kids got a warped way of looking at things. Naruto is merely the jailer." Genma said looking directly at me. "Fuinjutsu is a very complex and powerful ninja art that's pretty much only used for storage scrolls and explosive tags. So civilians and even most shinobi can't wrap their hands around it. However the fox is locked up tight. Isn't that right Uzumaki?" I simply shrugged at his statement.

"If you say so Sensei." Ami still looked confused, perhaps a little frightened. Sai shock his head in disapproval and Sensei had this begrudged look on his face, completely done with my bullshit.

"We'll now that we have all that cleared up, normally Genin are given a secondary exam by their potential Sensei. Uzumaki has made that a little tricky. So we'll skip it. However tomorrow at seven we're to meet at training ground thirteen. Welcome to the Shinobi corps kids. You officially begin your career as team thirteen from this point forward. I'd say congratulations, but you've got a lot to prove." Without saying anything else we just watched him get up and leave, never once looking back at us. Once again I found myself a little insulted. Hadn't I just showed this man I was someone to take seriously? In Ne we were encouraged to never turn our back to a challenger. No matter how weak they were in comparison. 'Ninjutsu can be devastating, but no man is immune to a blade.' Was a quote Danzo-sama once said. Anyone could wield a blade. Or maybe he already saw us as comrades? I chuckled to myself a bit at that. He probably just dismissed us, never even acknowledge my challenge and walked right out of here with out a single care in the world.

"Um, Uzumaki?" Ami just had to snap me out of my thoughts, which was probably for the best.  
"Are you okay?" He voice was laced with caution and something else I couldn't pick up. I went to answer but found someone else voice cutting through the brief moment of silence.

"No need to worry Ami, Dick-less has a tendency to glare when he feels he's being underestimated by someone superior." Sai just smiled, I could feel myself glaring. Fully aware of it now, but now focusing it on something. Ami sorta snickered after a short elated sigh. But her eyes were still downcast and her smile was weary and tired. I guess it had been a long day. I sorta just left them after that, leaving Ami to take everything in and Sai to. Well I just really left Sai.

The walk back to my apartment was filled with the same glares, whispers and general uneasiness I grew up with. You'd think something like this wouldn't bother me at this point. But a strange sense of self-consciousness always ate at me. I suppose it would anyone, I'd heard about people filling the sensation of people talking about them, or judging them with their leers when they'd feel guilt about something. Or embarrassed. Maybe that was part of it, maybe I just felt guilty about my existence now, and this was my psyche playing tricks on me. But most of those people never experienced it for real. Most of those people didn't walk around with a demon in their gut. So whether or not it was all in my head or actually observable by others didn't really matter. These people had a right to their fear, their uneasiness. Hell they had a right to their hatred. Like Shiranui-Sensei had said. These people weren't familiar with Fuinjutsu. To them it was like the beast that slaughtered their friends and family was just stuck inside a new born. An almighty power like that was sure to corrupt. Hell even if they did 'understand' it. I was still a living, breathing, walking reminder of everything that they had lost. While Naruto Uzumaki was around. A reminder of their lose, fear and pain would be in their sight. But in the same vein, these people. They'd probably always be a reminder of mine.

My foot falls eventually brought my to a four story building at the edge of both the Shinobi and market districts. A lot of people frequented the area for the bars and dive, others for the 'company'. It wasn't my place to judge, I mean everyone needed escape from the hustle and bustle of keeping up their daily facades and troubles of lives of the unfulfilled. My apartment didn't really have much to make it stand out, a bookshelf filled with various books on Ninjutsu theory and Fuinjutsu, a table covered in scrolls of fuinjutsu prototypes and various ninja tools. A small kitchen and a bed. One thing Ne taught me, or I guess one of the many things Ne taught me. Was simplicity was best. Nothing more than what was useful was needed. And nothing needed was without use.

Heading over to the table I gentle began to wrap my arms in bandages. If our skills where being tested, a test of my new fuinjutsu, well first fuinjutsu was a given. I'd spent months trying to figure out how to get it working. The idea was pretty simple. It was a Kunai launcher. Something easily hidden away. Accurate, deadly, useful. It would set my apart, give me an ace up my sleeve. While still holding to the basic ideas of assassination. Quick, precise and most importantly discrete. Multiple operatives in Ne used Senbon or Kunai launchers. However the mechanisms where easily damaged, they made minimum noise, but anything with moving parts would give off a slight warning that experienced ninja would be able to hear. That needed to be eliminated. Add in the issue of reloading or them only working once due to complicated loading mechanisms and then you have something that might as well be useless when you look at it's practicality. So I figured, what if it acted like a storage scroll?

The rest was trying to tweak the ability to aim or fire. Tweaking the storage seals was easy. After reading through the first five volumes of Fuinjutsu for Morons I was eventually able to remove the puff of smoke. Doing slight tweaks and edits I was able to make sure each Kunai came out in pointed in the exact same direction. A slow release so it didn't jump but basically laid on the seal. No popping out to be easy to grab. From there it was developing a compulsory seal. Then finding a way to cause forward propulsion to the Kunai. It was a frustrating process. For weeks it was to strong, then it was just to weak, But around the time of the academy exam I was able to finally get something usable. Tonight, I'd successfully finish the trigger and tomorrow. Well tomorrow I'd show off my work.

The next few hours was applying the seal, testing it with dull Kunai and redoing the seal time and time again until I was satisfied. With a cup of instant ramen, and a hot shower I was ready to call it a day. Fully prepared to face the morning training. Shiranui-Sensei would see what skills I had. I'd slide by Ami's and Sai's attempts at forming a relationship. Everything would go my way. It had to. For once.

-A/N-

Hey guys, sorry for the delay in updating. Work, what can you do? I'd like to take a moment to say I appreciate everyone who has read the first two chapters and came back for the third. I know this one was lacking in length. But I'm trying to do this fic with an episodic feel. Rather than multiple scene or time jumps. I'm trying to leave that between each chapter to keep it easier to follow. I'm also debating on having different POV chapters in the future and would appreciate you feed back on if it's something you'd like to see. But we'll keep this short and end it here.


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